The life of a modern left-handed democrat.
With Help from Jon Stewart
Published on June 24, 2005 By NJforever In Politics
(I know this is old news by now, but I haven't been on until now and I wanted to give my two cents on it)

Link

Flag burning you say? Ah. Well, I can see that. After all, like Jon Stewart said: "Today the House passed an amendment to ban the burning of the flag, thus ending the Iraqi insurgency."

What importance does this have? Really? Why do we need an amendment to ban burning of the flag? I already believe that it is protected by the First Amendment. Well, I guess if you can pull together a good argument I might be swayed into its relevance, maybe even supporting it.

"Ask the men and women who stood on top of the Trade Center," said Rep. Randy (Duke) Cunningham, R-Calif. "Ask them and they will tell you: pass this amendment."

...what? What? They will tell us to pass this amendment? Really? Well, thank you, oh-great-reader-of-minds. Thank you for telling us their political beliefs. I bow before your utter knowledge of what people will support! Oh, but don't worry. That isn't their best argument for it.

"Some say that this amendment violates the first amendment. It does not."

Oh. Well, there we go! All my worries are over. It doesn't! I have seen the light! How could I have not seen it before!? His argument is so superb I cannot help but recognize the complete wisdom! This man should be president! After all, he has some of the best reasons for things I have ever heard!

All right, I'll go a bit lighter on the jokes now. Clearly, I do not support this amendment. But that's not really what I'm picking apart here. It's the reasoning of the representatives that I'm picking apart. I mean, the arguments that I've seen so far, uh, not so good. These are our elected officials! They should be able to debate better than this! If this kind of stuff can win, imagine if someone who could express ideas clearly and rationally got in. My God, they would control Congress! But rest assured, citizens of America, I don't think that will be happening any time soon. A man can dream though, eh?

Comments (Page 1)
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on Jun 24, 2005
I also suggest the banning of pickles on quarter pounders which is clearly unpatriotic and a comfort for terrorists.
on Jun 24, 2005
I also suggest the banning of pickles on quarter pounders which is clearly unpatriotic and a comfort for terrorists.


I'm sorry, but without reasoning such as that that does not violate an amendment, I cannot jump onto your wagon.
on Jun 24, 2005
I'm so glad to know this new information. Just think of the impact this will have on Joe Q. Sixpack. I mean, knowing that, as a man jumped from the tower, and as he plummeted towards mother earth, he looked and saw a flag. Just before he hit the ground, his last thought (according to Rep. Cunningham) was.... At least that flag isn't burning.

Then, with his right hand over his heart, SPLAT!!!
on Jun 24, 2005
y'all are doin a great disservice to one of america's miracle workers. in the midst of socal's wildly bubbling red-hot real estate market, rep cunningham managed to do the impossible by selling his home to a defense contractor who subsequently resold it a short time later for $700,000 less than he paid duke--thus saving the guy a whole buncha taxes. nobody can figure out how it was done. even the homes that slid down the hill in laguna went up in value as they changed sites. yet somehow the price of cunningham's property dropped. amazing.
on Jun 24, 2005
IF I agreed with this, which I don't, I still don't understand what provoked it considering I haven't seen any surge in flag burning. Was this just "the time to do it", or are there mobs of flag burners that I haven't heard about?

This would be like suddenly passing a law against golffish swallowing or something. Do these folks just sit and fume about the flag being burned whether people are burining it or not?
on Jun 24, 2005
I still don't understand what provoked it considering I haven't seen any surge in flag burning.


it's a red-white-and-blue herring...cunningham's being investigated for selling his home to a defense contractor for about 700k more than it was worth.
on Jun 24, 2005
Just before he hit the ground, his last thought (according to Rep. Cunningham) was.... At least that flag isn't burning.


I know that touched my soul.

IF I agreed with this, which I don't, I still don't understand what provoked it considering I haven't seen any surge in flag burning. Was this just "the time to do it", or are there mobs of flag burners that I haven't heard about?


I'm going to dip back into the Jon Stewart quote vault for this one: "It is my understanding that most American flag burning nowadays takes place overseas. If so, this amendment would have the impact of banning American use of the metric system."

it's a red-white-and-blue herring...cunningham's being investigated for selling his home to a defense contractor for about 700k more than it was worth.


Doesn't mean we can't have a bit of fun.
on Jun 24, 2005
F I agreed with this, which I don't, I still don't understand what provoked it considering I haven't seen any surge in flag burning. Was this just "the time to do it", or are there mobs of flag burners that I haven't heard about?


I believe it is just that some legislators got bored and decided they needed to get up in arms about something.
on Jun 24, 2005
I believe it is just that some legislators got bored and decided they needed to get up in arms about something.


Yes, because working to help America just gets SO boring.
on Jun 24, 2005
Heh, I wouldn't know. My aim is to overthrow the very government we speak of.

Not really.
on Jun 24, 2005
Doesn't mean we can't have a bit of fun


of course not...in fact, fun for the entire political spectrum was intent here: Link

but if you're truly wondering why it suddenly became an issue, the answer is rep cunningham needed a diversion in the worst way (and this qualifies hahahaha) cuz he's about to become one of the big scandals of 2005 without something to deflect unwanted attention from himself.
on Jun 24, 2005
but if you're truly wondering why it suddenly became an issue, the answer is rep cunningham needed a diversion in the worst way (and this qualifies hahahaha) cuz he's about to become one of the big scandals of 2005 without something to deflect unwanted attention from himself.


But, if this is in fact true, and I do not doubt you, Kingbee, why are some people actually buying into it? Are they so incredulously stupid?

Actually, I thought the righties think they are are such a roll, or high, or whatever it is that power fills one up with, that they thought they'd just sucker this ol' dog through while the suckerin' is good. Seems to me there's a whole lot a suckerin' going on lately.
on Jun 24, 2005
why are some people actually buying into it? Are they so incredulously stupid?


Well, this is something that some people feel very strongly about. Normally, these are the people that write articles on it. That wasn't my reason, though; I feel very strongly about making fun of politicians who have really bad reasoning.
on Jun 25, 2005
, why are some people actually buying into it? Are they so incredulously stupid?


cuz its close to the 4th of july...there are troops dying overseas...cuz it's an inflammatory non-issue...and cuz this kinda thing almost always works (you notice the same-sex amendment thing disappeared once the election was over in 11/2004?
on Jun 25, 2005
Best article I've read about flag burning. Nice.
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